The above image is taken straight from Mother Jones, a fine lefty publication, and it's from an article about one truly ignoble Johnson. A man sullying the surname by being a lobbyist against legal abortions.
First, it's contemptible he took the Johnson surname into the lobbyist profession. Lobbying, as I understand it, is essentially getting paid handsomely for being friends with influential people and being able to be a quality bullshitter. While bullshitting is an admirable trait for a Johnson to have, professional lobbying and all the seedy, disreputable, behind-closed-doors pressure, lying, cheating and handjobbing is not a worthy profession for a Johnson. It's ugly. If you want to affect change, do so without needing to check part of your belief structure in the coat room in order to get stuff done.
Second, and most importantly, being against legal abortion is a narrow minded and doesn't achieve what that group of people think they want. Being intentionally narrow in thought and club footed in pursuit of the progress you want is not Johnson. Therefore, Doug, you are ignoble. Give up your surname.
Okay, let's explain that second point some. People like Doug and the people he represents want to stop abortion for the obvious reasons. So, they're trying to make it illegal. On it's face, that does sound reasonable, right? They don't like it, make it illegal, therefore, it won't happen anymore. Just like with speeding. Drugs. Murder. You know, those things don't exist anymore because they're illegal.
I know this comparison isn't fully apt but essentially the idea that by somehow banning something will cease it from ever happening again is ludicrous. If that whole side of the abortion argument would just realize that banning it won't stop it, that maybe they would focus all that money, energy, sweat and pictures of dead babies in things that would maybe create an environment where people would not want abortions through a stronger, supportive and proactive social safety net. Shit, that can even be faith based for all I care, but the argument over abortion needs to move to preventing it from needing to exist instead of just outright banning it and thinking that someone that solves any problem.
So, that's why Doug is an ignoble Johnson. He doesn't see the whole field. He doesn't attack root causes or use all that influence and money to affect positive, enduring change. He's squandering it, another thing Johnsons should never, ever do. We don't squander (if we can help it). Instead, he's prolonging and mining that divisive split between political parties for maybe his own benefit, but surely not to achieve what you think he and his funders are actually after.
Trade in your surname, Doug. And your Beets t-shirt. And your friend with the blue complexion.
Johnsodarity!
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